What happened to doing things because they're fun? I feel like in the past week I've been relearning what fun is. I miss playing basketball on my street for hours by myself. Pretending to be Michael Jordan and always making the buzzer beater to win the game...no matter how many tries it took. I miss playing the trumpet to jazz tracks in my room and having to stuff the bell with a rag to make it quieter. I miss taking pictures of everything I see and bringing my camera everywhere I go, just in case. As I've grown older, I've become so uptight. I stopped playing basketball because I can't keep up with the people that still do play. My game is more like Dennis Rodman's than Michael Jordan's. I stopped playing the trumpet because I didn't have band in school anymore and I realized that band isn't as cool outside of BHS. Taking pictures is probably the one thing I still do, but looking back at the what I've done it looks like I've missed a LOT of great shots while waiting for that perfect shot . I'm so caught up in getting my style to look like other photographers, working on editing and making a portfolio that I forget to shoot more photos. More important than any of that I feel like I've lost enjoying God. I remember the days of my DTS where I would be excited to wake up early and go to base worship. Singing and dancing like nobody is watching and just having fun. Don't get me wrong I still love God, its just that I've forgotten to delight in Him.
I don't really know exactly when it happened, but I feel like I've made that transition from being a child to an adult. You hear people reminiscing about their childhood and how carefree they used to be. How they wish they could go back. I used to think that I would be immune to that and now I find myself wanting nothing more than to be a kid again.
As complaining profusely would be a waste of time, I'm going to fix it. I'm going to do the things that make me happy. This doesn't mean that I'm going to stop being an adult or forget my responsibilities. Instead I'm going to stop comparing myself to others and start making more time to do the things I enjoy. I know this train of thought is going to change me completely. I'm definitely going to need reminds of what I'm feeling now. That's alright though, as long as I don't forget this completely. Maybe I'll play more basketball, maybe I'll pick up the trumpet every once in a while and maybe I'll take more pictures.
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4
I believe that He has placed in my heart the things I love for a reason. Now my life needs to follow what I believe and start enjoying things because they make me happy!
P.S. I'm sorry if the post is all over the place and my poor grammar. I just wrote it as things were coming to me and I'm a horrible writer to begin with.